Intensity of emotion, eh? This is hard one…as anyone in my immediate vicinity would know – my emotions aren’t exactly what you’d call ‘intense’. And for sure not melodramatic, if that’s what you’re looking for. However, I guess I could tell you about some occasions where I do indeed feel certain things quite strongly.
But I do have a hard insistence on keeping doors around me closed. It’s more of a privacy thing. Open doors are not good. Not good at all. I usually insist on those who pass by to close the door behind them, and if they don’t, I feel a sharp twinge which compels me to curse quietly and stomp over to the site, slamming the door loudly as to send a clear message: “Close the damn thing next time!”
In addition, I do like the feeling of opening the door handle upon returning home, feeling its slight resistance as I push it down then back up again once I’ve entered. Once, my mother decided to open the door for me as I walked in, rather kindly, I must say, but I couldn’t help but clench my fists and even re-open then close the door again, but the satisfaction wasn’t quite the same.
It’s that same murkiness inside I feel whenever somebody says certain keywords that are to my disliking. You know how when somebody talks to you about something on and on again until you get sick of it? Then next time, when they say that ‘word’ to indicate the unwelcome return of such a topic, you feel dead within and all you can think is “Not this again!”? Yes – that kind of thing.
I even think, now, that I might have developed an allergic reaction to spelling and grammatical errors (e.g. The tour that let’s you see all of Singapore!). They glare out…obvious and ugly. They are like weeds, and on occasion, of the overgrown variety. When posted on official websites or promotion ads in public, they really are quite embarrassing – but, truth be told, everyone makes them, in fact, there might a few that I’ve missed whilst reviewing this post (please do tell).
With this kind of attention to such little aspects of my life, one might expect me to be a constant worrier. But not quite, not really, at least. Let’s run through the list. School exams? I’ve been successful winging them up ‘till now. Death of a relative? People come and go…let’s just be glad they were here to begin with. So yes – perhaps I should re-sort my priorities, or perhaps they’ll be fine as they are for now. Who knows?