Last Resort

Our Only Choice

Last supper, eh? Simple – I would bring along my family and my closest friends, all packed in the comfort of my home. While my entourage are enjoying their feast, I shall stand atop the table, give my glass a few good whammies with my spoon, and the night’s discourse shall go as follows:

“Greetings, relatives, comrades and friends. As you may know, tomorrow we are all going to die. Poof…gone, kicked out of the loop before we even got to see it grow. Aunts and Uncles, say your last prayers. Those of the skeptical sort…feel free to start praying to every single god imaginable in case one of them might indeed be the right one. In other words, whichever way we look at it, ladies and gentlemen, this is the end.

However, it need not end this way. Who knows how we will die the next day. Fire raining from the skies? An infectious pandemic? Perhaps an all-pervasive flood that will destroy our cities and drown all who inhabit them. Instead…I propose something different, something to liberate us of such horrors that would bite us in our last desperate moments. I propose…premeditated suicide! Let’s face it…we’re never going to escape tomorrow’s onslaught unless we resort to this one last option. Aunts and Uncles…you may not endorse my method but I promise – it will be a quick and painless death.

I’ve already got some chloroform bottled up in my trunk so we can put ourselves to sleep quickly. It’ll only take a few minutes at most…and, just in case, I’ve packed an IED in there as well. I should, and I repeat, should be able to set it so that it explodes while we are all asleep, so that we won’t feel any pain at all.

Sounds like a good idea, right? Well then…let’s get to it.

Oh, and for those who disagree…I may have spiked your wine with some sedative as well. Sleep tight.”


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